


Handsome & Cold; Pretty & Lonely

by pxrainey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Bottom Harry, Cute Harry, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Harry Potter & Tom Riddle Attend Hogwarts Together, Harry Potter Needs a Hug, Homophobic Language, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Possessive Tom Riddle, Sane Tom Riddle, Slut Shaming, Slytherin Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-08-17 00:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16505456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pxrainey/pseuds/pxrainey
Summary: An alternate universe in which the Dursleys are far worse than how we know them, Harry is sorted into Slytherin and the way he tries to overcome his past is by giving himself to untrustworthy boys. Oh, and there is also Tom Riddle in his year who kind of turns his whole life around, which is a favour Harry gladly returns.





	1. Wake Up

"Have fun with the other freaks, fag!"

Vernon pretty much threw the big trunk out of the car as quickly as possible, closed the door again and got back to the driver's seat. Without another word of goodbye or looking back at him, his only remaining family, the oh-so-lovely Dursleys, drove off and left him alone at King's Cross station.

"Thanks, Dudley..."

Sighing, seventeen year old Harry Potter picked up the heavy trunk and his owl's cage. 

"It's just you and me now, Hedwig, hm?" She screeched loudly as a train drove by next to them, making a loud noise that scared both of them.

"Alright, let's get away from here now."

Once he had made sure that nobody was looking at him, he quickly ran towards the wall between platform nine and ten, walking right through it.  
He was glad to finally be leaving Muggle London behind him once more.

Platform nine and three quarters made him feel a little better about himself, though his whole body was still hurting because of his relative's fine treatment.

He took in the beautiful sight of this magical place. It was just as loud as on the other platform, but now the noise was caused by cheerful laughs and loving good-bye-wishes.

The first of September was a lot of people's favourite day, including Harry. Leaving for Hogwarts was always exciting, and for him it also meant being free from his servant's life. The absolute best thing was that after this last year at school, he would be fully educated and therefore allowed to start working and get his own place to stay at, alone and in peace. 

A little smile spread on his spotless face- thank God for concealer- and he started walking towards the train.  
Inside, he found an empty compartment and sat down there.

No one else sat down in this compartment. He had not expected otherwise.

Luna from Ravenclaw, Ginny from Gryffindor and a few others were always kind to him, but their friendship did not really go any further than that and they had their own group of friends.  
Apart from that, he did not trust anyone enough to get to know them and spend a lot of time together as friends. That was probably some of the dark, twisty stuff inside of him caused by his not-that-pleasant childhood. 

Finally, the train started driving and left the station. Harry rested his aching head on the cold window and watched the pretty landscape for some time.

Then, Hedwig was becoming impatient.

"Well, I suppose I can let you out now. Just make sure to arrive at Hogwarts safely, yeah?" As he opened her cage, she screeched happily and spread her white wings. He opened the window and watched her fly away. She deserved this, after having to stay in his room for two months this summer.

Harry sighed when he could not see her anymore. Alone again, then. 

It did not take long for his eyes to become heavy after he had pulled out some book he enjoyed reading, and soon he was drifting off to a long needed sleep. At least now he was allowed to rest for some time.

×××

Tom Riddle was walking around King's Cross station as if he owned the place, head held high and an arrogant smirk on his outstandingly handsome face. If his trunk was too heavy, he didn't let anyone notice that small weakness as he brushed through his dark hair with one elegant pale hand.

Even the Muggles here somehow noticed that he was special, extraordinary, despite them not knowing the tiniest bit about his powers; he just had that aura around him. He sneered as he watched them go about their day, oblivious and utterly stupid.

Once he had finally left their world for good by running through the right platform, he chuckled lightly to himself. Oh, what plain, uninteresting lives these people were living.

Glad that he wouldn't have to think about them from now on, he quickly made his way to the train that would bring him to Hogwarts where he would finish his last year of magical education. He grinned. Then, he would finally be able to prove himself, show everyone his powers and explore them even more himself. Never again would he have to return to the filthy muggle orphanage he had to spend his entire life at.

As soon as he had sat down in a compartment, people started sitting down with him. The first one was Blaise Zabini. A Slytherin from his year, smart enough, useful even, considering the influence his famous mother had in the Ministry of Magic.

Tom greeted the dark skinned boy politely and even let himself have some small talk with him. He needed people to like him in order for them to put his faith in him later on, after all.

Soon after that, Theodore Nott entered as well, grinning at Tom.

"Tom, nice to see you! Hey, Blaise. How was your summer?"

Theo was probably the most useful and loyal one of his companions in Slytherin. People might even go as far as calling the two of them friends, but Tom wasn't one to believe in such sentiments. Still, Theo was the one he despised the least of everyone at school, which was something, he guessed.

"It is indeed a pleasure, Theo. Please, sit down. It was really hot this summer, wasn't it? How's your family?" He smartly avoided answering the question about the summer. Not a soul needed to know about the orphanage, ever.

Theodore accepted the change of subject and went on talking about some things that Tom didn't really bother listen to. All he needed to know about his classmates was how to best talk to them and manipulate them into trusting him. He had goals to accomplish, after all, and supporters from school would come in handy when he would soon get into politics to one day become the Minister of Magic.

He grinned to himself. A bright future stood before him.

×××

The train arrived at Hogwarts when it was already dark outside. Hundreds of happy, excited students stormed outside and to the boats or the carriages.

Having been given the honor of being Head Boy of Slytherin this year, however, Tom had other things to do.  
His job was it to go through all of the compartments to check that nobody had forgotten anything. Tedious work, if you asked him, but considering all the other privileges this position offered, it was worth it. So, he wandered through the train, glad to be trusted enough by the headmaster to be left alone here. Still, he was getting kind of annoyed because of course he didn't find anything.

That was, until he came to the very last compartment. He stopped in his tracks as he saw a small, familiar figure there. The Lumos charm he had cast and the moonlight made it easy for him to recognise the boy, for he had spent the last years with him in a dormitory. 

The messy black hair covered most of Harry Potter's face and his green eyes were closed. The Slytherin was sound asleep and curled up tight in his seat. 

Tom was truly confused by the sight. He wondered what had gotten the other boy so tired that he hadn't woken up from all the students leaving the train, chattering loudly. Had no one missed him when they had left? He had thought that Weasley and Lovegood were his friends or something.

If he wasn't Tom Riddle, he maybe would have even felt bad for Potter. 

He stepped towards him, his brow furrowed, and took a closer look at him. Even in his sleep, he looked troubled. Tom knew that Potter had some sort of problems. He wasn't one to talk much, or laugh much, and he was scared easily. After all of these years, Tom found that he didn't really know much about him. He knew what his best and worst subjects were, that he was often late to class, and that he sometimes didn't show up for meals.

But, he had never cared enough about any of these things to actually ask why. But now he wondered, why would a seventeen-year-old be that exhausted on his first day of school?

Tom then noticed the weird texture of the skin under Potter's left eye. It reminded him of the obnoxious girls that had been charmed by Tom's looks and desperately tried to impress him with... cheap makeup. Why would Potter wear makeup?

Tom carefully cast a cleaning spell on Potter and the makeup disappeared. He inhaled sharply as he saw a nasty bruise on the otherwise pretty face. A strong fist must have hit him hard, and he had tried to cover it up.

He sighed, now having a vague idea as to why Potter always was his quiet, exhausted self, for Tom was no stranger to an abusive household.

'Anyway,' he thought, 'it's time to go.'

"Potter. Wake up," he called and shook him. Potter jolted and awoke with a start. He stared at him, his tired eyes widening. 

"You don't have to be scared," he rolled his eyes, "It's me. We're at Hogwarts, you missed the arrival because you were asleep."

Potter's mouth opened, closed again, and then he just muttered an "Oh."  
Looking around in the compartment, he seemed to realise where and why he was.

"Right. A-And... you're here because..?" His voice was hoarse and quiet. 

"Prefect business, Potter," he replied annoyed.

"Oh. Yes." He rubbed his eyes under his glasses and groaned in pain.  
"What time's it?"

"Almost time for the great feast. So, get up and come on now. You must be as hungry as myself."

Harry doubted that their hunger was comparable at all, but nodded quietly and stood. He avoided the other boy's eyes and gathered his things, while Tom waited impatiently.

"I'm.. uhm... sorry for the... inconvenience" Harry forced the words out of his mouth as they were walking to the carriages.

"Save it, Potter." 

They didn't talk after that. It was a long, uncomfortable ride where both boys just looked straight ahead and tried to ignore the other one's presence.  Once they had reached the castle, both hurried inside.

Tom stopped Harry before he could open the doors to the Great Hall, however. He grabbed him by the arm and pointed his wand at his face.

"Wh-What-"

Before he could protest further, Tom had cast a simple concealing charm on the purple spot on Harry's face.

"I do not want the others to think that I gave you these bruises. They look rather alarming. Use some better makeup next time."

Harry could only watch him with an open mouth and shocked eyes. Why did Riddle know? He couldn't- he just- no! "No, I-"

"Don't freak out, Potter. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to."

Harry could only shake his head, and after an uttered "alright" from Tom, he entered the Great Hall and left Harry standing there with his heart beating unhealthily fast and a blush creeping up his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, thank you so much for reading my story! I'd really love to get your feedback, if you would like to take the time. 
> 
> I am planning for this to have around eight to ten chapters, but we'll see.
> 
> If you'd like to see what I imagine Harry and Tom would look like, check out my Instagram @pxrainey, I love drawing them! It's basically all I do at the moment.
> 
> Also, I feel like I should definitely mention that I took some inspiration from another fanfiction on here for this, which "Diagnosis" by MaidenMotherCrone (https://archiveofourown.org/works/12707139?view_full_work=true).  
> I really adored this fic more than any other one I've read in some time, and I couldn't get over Harry's characterization, so there will be some similar elements here. Check it out, I promise it's so worth it!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy my fic and stick til the end!


	2. Worries

After the feast which he had spent trying not to look too ridiculous while desperately filling his empty stomach, Harry was walking down the stairs to the dungeon when a bright voice stopped him.

"Harry, wait!" Ginny Weasley called obnoxiously loud for everyone else. She was standing at the top of the stairs, her bright red hair in a ponytail that complimented her sharp features and a confident grin on her face. One freckled hand was intertwined with her girlfriend's pale one. Luna's big bright eyes were not looking at him or anything specific, she was probably lost in her thoughts. Her dirty blonde hair was longer than before and she had a new pair of weird earrings that looked like peaches, but otherwise she was her usual, dreamy self.

Harry adored the sight of them. Smiling widely, he ran up the stairs again and was pulled into a crushing hug by his- friends? He didn't exactly know what to call them. It felt amazing, anyhow. 

"You look good, dear Harrison. I noticed you coming in late, did something happen?" Well, at least Riddle's concealment charm seemed to be working.

"Oh, I-.. forgot something in the train and had to go back to get it." Of course he wasn't going to give them any reason to worry about him, like being too exhausted to awake on his own; they did that anyway. "Thanks for asking though, Ginerva."

The girls both laughed. The three of them didn't talk a lot because it was almost bed time, but when they left and he started walking towards the dungeons again, the first genuine smile in months spread on his face.

He remembered when he had first met them in his fourth year at Hogwarts. They had both been a year younger, but still so much stronger than him already. It had been a Hogsmeade weekend and everyone had been outside exploring the pretty village, except for Harry. He had had no one to go with and hadn't felt like going on his own yet again. That was until the two girls had found him and dragged him along to spend the day with them. At first he had found it rather unnerving and annoying, but in the end they all had a lot of fun. 

And he probably cared for them more than they cared for him because he desperately needed them and they were fine on their own, but he was fine with that as long as he wasn't completely alone.

They made him smile sometimes and they listened to him ranting about school stuff. They didn't judge him for his sexuality- obviously- and they supported his dreams for the future.  
Maybe that was enough. Maybe they didn't need to know about his dark side. Maybe he could hide it from them and still call them his friends.

He didn't want to ruin all of this by scaring them away with his inner loneliness, for they were the kindest people he had ever met. They were unlike his cruel relatives or the mean kids in primary school or the uncaring, unloving Slytherins.

So yes, it would have to be enough, he thought as he lay down in his soft bed in the dorm, so very unlike the one with the old, worn out mattress that he had at Privet Drive.

×××

The class was practicing the tranfiguration of a quill into different kinds of birds. The professor was giving advice to some students or nodding approvingly to others.

It was quiet until a mess of a boy stumbled through the door, trying to catch his breath.

"Mr. Potter! What in-"

"I'm so sorry, Professor McGonagall, I- uhm- overslept."

There was a stern frown on her face.  
"That is quite obvious. You are twenty minutes late. And it's the first day of term! 5 points from Slytherin, Mr. Potter. Sit down." Tom watched the boy take a seat and mutter another quiet apology, to McGonagall or the other Slytherins or himself, he didn't know. 

 

Potter was infuriating, really. The way his ridiculous hair stood out to all kinds of directions, how he was looking around the room confused and trying to figure out what he was supposed to do, the way he quickly turned away when he noticed Tom's stare and how he tried to focus on reading the text book but apparently failed because he was still too tired.

Merlin, how could anyone be this messy and annoying? 

At least the bruise on his face wasn't visible, so he must have finally learned how to cast a simple concealing charm. Good.

Tom shook his head and focused on the eagle in front of him again. Why was he wasting thoughts on this boy again? Anyway, the bird was transformed perfectly, of course, and McGonagall was very pleased, so he didn't care.

×××

Wasting thoughts on Potter was a thing he caught himself doing quite frequently after that.

The boy had certain habits that were just... prominent, Tom supposed was the word because he couldn't describe it any better, this strange interest he was suddenly developing.  
More often than not, Potter would be missing at meals, but when he did manage to appear, he was bolting his food like a starved man with a tight grip around his plate.  
Sometimes he would be gone for hours in the afternoon when everyone else was doing their homework in the common room, yet he still managed to have excellent grades in most subjects. 

Tom also found that he had a strangely excessive knowledge about Healing magic. One time in Care of Magical Creatures, Pansy Parkinson had been hit by the tail of a Blast-Ended Skrewt (stupid Hagrid's fault) and Potter had known how to calm her down and heal most of the wounds on her arm immediately before sending her to Madame Pomfrey. She probably would have scarred pretty badly if Potter hadn't treated her so quickly. 

He actually knew how to take care of almost everything from small scratches to toxic potions touching the skin of incautious students. And oh, how irritating that was! Whenever he could, he would jump at the possibility of helping someone, which was so stupidly kind and selfless that it left Tom wondering how he could have ever made it into Slytherin.

There were also things that were sort of alarming about him and seemed to confirm Tom's theory about his home life. Every time a teacher would get louder because the class wasn't listening or anything noisy at all happened, he would flinch badly and it would take him some moments to calm down again. His head was held down most of the times and he would apologise unnecessarily often if he ever bumped into anyone.  
He would look scandalized when he didn't know the answer to something in class, but not because- like Tom- his ego would be hurt, but because he seemed to expect some punishment for it.

If Tom would have bothered to actually think all of this through a bit more, he probably would have found that Harry was remarkably similar to his own self when he had just been in his first year at Hogwarts- before he had known pride or vanity rather than blind hate, and before he had learned how to make other people respect him, rather than fear him. When he had been nothing but a lost, abused orphan.

But, why would he of all people care, anyway.

×××

By the beginning of his fifth school year, Harry had had enough of everything. The Dursleys had made him do a ridiculous amount of garden work over the whole summer which had been exhaustively hot. Dudley had started his new boxing thing that he and his parents would call a great hobby, but was actually just an excuse for him to beat some people up to let out all of his aggression. Most of the times, "people" had meant Harry, obviously.

He had also recently discovered another thing that he was a freak about, like his uncle would say. Apparently, his cousin and his friends had been right when they had called him a "faggot" all the time, because that summer, there had been a new boy in town that wasn't a complete douchbag, and Harry had _lost his mind_ because of all the inappropriate fantasies that had been consuming his every thought then. 

Ginny and Luna had been there of course, but he would have never dared to tell them about his family or his sexual interests, so he had just kept all of it locked up inside, and he had never felt so alone before.

So when there had been a party in the Slytherin common room one day and a handsome guy from sixth year had given him some attention when he had had just one too many glasses of Firewhiskey, Harry had just kind of.. snapped. His first time had been rushed and painful and strange, but it had given both of them enough pleasure to be considered alright in the end. 

He hadn't really talked to that particular guy ever again, but now that he had gotten to know this sort of human contact- a sharp contrast to the one he had always been used to- he had started looking for it where ever and whenever he could. Basically, to just spit it out, he had started sleeping around. A lot.

At some point, he hadn't even been ashamed of this anymore, because it had given him a pleasurable distraction from everything else that was so very wrong in his life.

He has been doing this for almost two years now. Letting himself be used, forgetting that he was worth more than this, that he could be more than a dumb whore, which some had started calling him by now.

He knew he should stop this, and exactly this was his goal for his seventh year actually. He wanted to do better, to be better- he had a goal for the future that he needed to focus his every thought on for it to be accomplished after all. 

But, there were these moments sometimes where he just... couldn't help it, couldn't say no, because the temptation was too great.

That was exactly the case on the first weekend after the summer. Classes hadn't even started getting difficult by then, but some Gryffindors had decided to throw a big party immediately. Ginny was a very extrovert person, so she had been excited about this and had invited everyone she liked. At first, Harry had refused, but Ginny had dragged him along.

He didn't blame her for it because she didn't know much about his situation and thought that he had to go outside to do something with other people more often, which was true, but- he was weak.

So this was how, after some drinking and dancing and stupid flirting, he found himself on a red armchair, in the lap of some blonde Gryffindor, snogging him senseless. 

Soon enough, Harry let the other boy bring him to bed. That night, he let go of all his sorrow and pain again, but he also forgot his good values and self worth, his big goals. It was easy, really, too very easy, and he knew he would hate himself for it in the morning, but he didn't care right now. Now, it was about the one easy thing that he knew of, not his distressing worries.


	3. A Chance

Harry awoke a few hours later, with the Gryffindor's arms wrapped around his waist and his warm breath on his neck. He immediately remembered his activities from before and he started feeling sick.  
Normally this situation wouldn't really bother him because he was so used to it, but since it was only a week after the summer holidays, he was still too vulnerable because of the Dursleys to ignore the feeling of being used and dirty. 

The sex hadn't even been that good, but of course he had immediately jumped at the idea of some human contact that could, perhaps, make him somewhat forget the bruises he had collected over the summer and replace them with new, different ones. His stomach still hurt from when his cousin had beaten him up and the whip marks on his back were not completely healed yet, but at least it distracted his mind for some time. It made him feel like some cheap whore, if he was being honest with himself. 

He refused to cry in the stranger's bed though and quickly got out of it to get dressed, trying to ignore the ache he felt in his lower region. After a short look at the stranger - tall, blonde, quite handsome, what was his name again? - he put a silencing charm on himself and walked out of the dorm. He probably would have appreciated how the common room was quite pretty and comfortable, if it weren't for the fact that he felt like complete trash at the moment. 

Sighing, he hurried out into the hallway. As soon as the fresh air hit him, so did his feelings of regret and shame. Those really shouldn't affect him anymore, considering how often he had done shit like this before, but now they did and he started shaking. Was he really so weak that he had to fail his own goals so early on in the school year?

Despite his attempts at calming down, he let out a quiet sob. Pathetic, really.

Taking a deep breath, Harry started to walk into the direction of the dungeons. Since it wasn't even October yet he wasn't carrying a jacket with him, but at night the dark corridors of Hogwarts were very cold, so he started shaking even more. 

Lost in his thoughts, he did not notice the approaching footsteps, walked around a corner and ran straight into a strong body. The tall person was able to catch him before he fell to the ground. With his vision blurred from his tears, it took him some moments to recognise them.

"Riddle- I-I'm so sorry, I'm j-just.. uhm", he stuttered out when Tom released him out of his strong arms.

"What are you doing here at night, Potter?" Riddle asked, his brow furrowed.

Honestly, Harry didn't really know either. He could've just stayed in the damn Gryffindor dorm and embarrassingly excuse himself in the morning. Thinking about that boy- or, rather, all of those boys- again made his bottom lip tremble and his knees weak.

"Well, uhm, I-I could ask you the same!", he tried hopelessly though he already knew the answer.

Riddle smirked arrogantly. "Well, as you know, I happen to be a prefect. So it is my duty to check the corridors at night to make sure that nobody is out of bed. You currently are, Potter, so I demand to know if there is a good reason for it or if I should just give you detention right away."

"Look- you know, I-", he started, his voice weak. The pain in his lower region had now transferred into his head and basically everywhere else, too, and he was just so tired of it all. "I don't really know, okay? I'm sorry.. I was just on my way to the common room and-" 

"Are you okay? Did something happen?"

There was a tense moment of silence and Harry dared to look up into the deep blue eyes staring at him. They were as cold as always and there was a frown placed onto the handsome face.

"Wh-.. What?", Harry stuttered dumbly.

"Well, this hallway leads to the Gryffindor tower, so I guess that is where you were coming from. Considering the bad relationship of our house and Gryffindor, I was wondering if you had some sort of fight with someone. You do look kind of even more a mess than usual."

Harry blushed a deep shade of pink and looked away. 

"Uhm.. no, I just... Look, i-it's fine, right? 'M just not feeling well right now an'.. I really wanna go to bed y'know.." Noticing how he was slurring his words, he suddenly remembered that he had not properly eaten that day. Or the day before that. Or, actually, the whole summer.  
He was feeling dizzy and started trembling a bit.

Riddle noticed, of course. "Okay Potter, I see you are right. I am going to bring you to our dorm now where you will rest" he said, all bossy and factual as always.

Harry nodded, causing his headache to grow and he sighed. "Right.."

They started walking towards the dungeons again, Harry having trouble keeping up with Riddle's fast pace.  
After a while of following the taller boy in an uncomfortable silence, his head started spinning. He stopped walking, held on to the wall for support and closed his eyes.

Tom rolled his eyes. "Potter, do we really need to draw this out-" He stopped complaining however when he saw how pale his classmate looked.  
Despite himself he sighed and moved to comfort the other boy, but in that moment, Potter actually had the audacity to vomit. Onto Tom's shoes.  
There wasn't much coming out of him because he hadn't eaten enough, but it weakened Harry more and he fell to his knees, whimpering. 

After seeing the bruises on this broken boy's face, after realising what his life must be like, after studying all of his manners that just screamed hurt and exhaustion, and now, after seeing him completely fall apart at last, Tom did not have it in himself to be angry, not really. His annoyance was gone. He quickly vanished the vomit with his wand and tried to help the shaking Potter to his feet.

This was a mess. This was horrible. Harry hated everything about this and he was desperately trying not to make a fool of himself any more.  
"I'm so sorry.. sorry, I-.. uh.." he groaned in pain as Riddle held him up.

"Stop talking. Don't worry. Just.. hold onto me."

And Harry did. He clinged to Riddle pathetically because there was no way he would be able to walk on his own. The older boy basically carried him all the way to their dorm while Harry tried to hold back his tears and he realised that he had never let anyone see him that vulnerable before, ever.

When they arrived in the Slytherin dormitories, Riddle brought him to the bathroom where he cleaned Harry's face with a wet towel.  
They locked eyes for a moment then, and Tom could see so much exhaustion in the green ones.

Harry shivered under the intense gaze. "You didn't have to do this..", he murmured, avoiding the piercing blue eyes again.

"Don't be ridiculous. It's my responsibility." His eyes rested on Harry's full lips that he was cleaning.

"Wh-what?"

"As a prefect", he explained. 

"Oh. Right."

Riddle hummed. He was finished now and Harry looked somewhat better. 

There was that strange silence again before Tom decided that they should both go to bed, so they left the bathroom, got changed and then layed down separately. Tom secretly made sure that Potter seemed to be laying comfortably and wrapped in his blankets. He couldn't understand why he would care about such a thing, but for now he would just ignore it.

As Tom was closing his curtains, he heard Harry's soft voice again.

"Thank you, Tom. Good night."

He cringed at the use of his first name. Too personal.  
"Don't mention it."

And then there was silence.

Harry laid there; the pain was still there but now, in the familiar warmth of his bed, it was bearable. He tried to process what had just happened. Did Tom Riddle, the cold, too-polite, intimidating Slytherin, really just help him like that?

The whole situation was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for Harry and he felt the need to apologise to Tom again. But on the other hand, he had never seen the other boy so nice before. It almost looked like the arrogant persona was replaced by something like kindness and warmth.

Harry stopped that thought. No, Tom Riddle was not to be described as kind or warm at all. He may be handsome and intelligent and strong and so very charming... but that was a facade. Underneath that, he was manipulative and evil. Harry knew that because everyone knew that. He probably just did what he did to help push his perfect Head Boy image.

But after that night, after Tom seeing him in his worst state and still helping him, being the first person in a long time to just be there for him, he started to doubt that this was all true.

It was probably foolish and naive, but that night, Harry started feeling closer to Tom and wanted to give him - them - a chance.

At what, he didn't know yet, but it was a chance, one he was suddenly willing to take.

×××

Theodore awoke from his sleep when he heard someone open the door to the dorm. His ears registered the sounds of two people walking through the room. His first instinct was to fight the intruders, but then he realised that they could only be two of his classmates, since nobody else had access to the Slytherin dorms.

He was curious about who of them was going to bed this late at night though, and peeked through his curtains to see them. There was no one there, but he saw that the bathroom lights were on, and then, he heard a small, familiar voice say "You didn't have to do this." Potter?

And then, to his great surprise, he heard Tom Riddle answer "Don't be ridiculous. It's my responsibility."

His brow furrowed in confusion. What was Tom doing with Potter of all people? 

After some minutes, the two of them came out of the bathroom and he could take a look at them. Tom was hiding his feelings as always, but Potter's emotions were easy to read. He looked horribly exhausted and sick, as if he would fall to the ground if Tom wouldn't be steadying him.  
Pity spread inside of Theo. What happened to him?

He watched the two of them lay down in their beds, and after some minutes he heard the quiet, shy voice again, "Thank you, Tom. Good night." So they were on first name basis now? When did that happen?

Many more questions about those two came to his mind. He had never really bothered to befriend Potter, and he thought the same went for Tom. He had always had his friends and Potter had just seemed.. too quiet; unfitting. 

However, that night, Theo started getting interested in the small boy, and when he heard muffled crying coming from his bed some time later, he worried if maybe, this interest should have come earlier.


	4. Rage

The next morning at breakfast, Tom was ignoring the loud chatter of his classmates, staring down at his plate and trying to sort his thoughts, which was not working out too well. Every time he closed his eyes to regain his focus on finding an explanation for the way he had acted the night before, the only thing that came to his mind was the image of ugly bruises under tear stained, bright green eyes. 

Of course, if anyone should ask him, he would tell them that he had only helped Potter yesterday because that was what prefects were supposed to do. He was supposed to keep students in bed and out of trouble, it was as simple as that. But, deep down, even though he would never say it out loud, he knew that that was not quite true. There had been more than professional responsibility to his behaviour, something that he had abandoned to the outermost corner of his mind a long time ago.

The truth was, he saw himself in Potter. He saw the abused, orphaned half blood. Whatever was left from Potter's Muggle family could by no means be any more pleasant than the cruel children and adults at Tom's orphanage. So that was what they had in common, unfortunately.

But at the same time, Potter was also somehow the exact opposite of everything that Tom represented. Because the way they had dealt with their situation had been drastically different.

Ever since he had been an abandoned child, Tom had always been blaming everyone else. First, it had been his stupid parents' fault that he had landed in the orphanage. The pathetic witch with almost no powers that had betrayed the only good thing about herself- her famous blood- by getting pregnant from a filthy Muggle. Those two cowards that had left their own child to rot because she was too weak to stay alive after the birth and he was too selfish to take care of anyone but himself. Tom had started hating both of them very early on in his life.

Potter on the other hand seemed to adore his dead parents. In all of these years, he had never talked badly about them and his eyes always seemed to light up whenever he mentioned them. It was as if he could still feel their love, and as if that was the very thing that kept him steady.

And perhaps that was the main difference between them. Throughout his entire life, Tom had never fully understood the concept of love, for nobody had ever shown it to him and he had never found himself in a situation where he would have needed it; but Potter's very purpose seemed to be to spread this love where ever he could, and maybe the thing that was actually bothering Tom about him, though he would never admit it, was the unbearable envy he felt because of that.

Tom snapped out of his thoughts when the one he had been thinking of walked into the Great Hall. They locked eyes for a second. It was Saturday, so Potter didn't have to worry about coming late to class, but he was still looking stressed out and troubled. The smaller boy quickly sat down at the other end of the table and avoided Tom's eyes.

Tom decided that he should go speak to him. He was still curious about why he had been walking around in the hallway the night before and, as a prefect, he should make sure that there hadn't been a fight or something, of course. Had to keep the students safe after all. Definitely didn't have anything to do with his want to make sure that Potter was feeling better, no.

So, when Potter was finished with breakfast and got up to leave, Tom did as well and was walking towards him. However, Potter was apparently not in the mood for talking, because as soon as he noticed Tom, he started walking away even faster. Annoyed, Tom followed him, but when Potter was almost out in the hallway, he was stopped.

Tom could not believe his eyes when he saw a blonde guy with a red tie around his neck- Cormac McLaggen if he remembered correctly- approaching Potter, grabbing his ass and pulling him against himself like that was a normal thing to do, a disgusting smirk on his face. 

"Good morning, babe," the Gryffindor murmured confidently, trying to sound sexy.

That did not seem to be working on his target though. Potter was looking at him in shock, taken aback by the offensive gesture, and was desperately trying to escape from his firm grip.

"Why so tense, huh? Last night you were way more relaxed and... flexible. Don't you remember, hm, your pretty bending and... begging?" he said for everyone that was standing a few meters away from them to hear. He smirked arrogantly and Tom wanted to punsh him badly.

There was a hurt expression on Potter's face now. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Leave me alone!"

As the Gryffindor's grip on his arm only tightened instead and Potter whimpered quietly, Tom had seen enough. He approached the pair that had quite a few other students watching them and gossiping by now. 

"McLaggen! If you would excuse me and Potter, there is something urgent I need to talk to him about." His voice was icy and intimidating, his eyes dark, and he was towering over Cormac like a wild animal. The idiot was looking up at him and wanted to protest at first, but then he realised who it was that had been talking to him, and became humbled rather quickly. "You wouldn't want to waste our time, would you?" Tom spoke quieter now, it was even more chilly. 

"Uhm.." he glanced down at Potter for a second, "no. Right. Uh.." He was gone immediately. Tom smirked inwardly. Good to know how strong his influence on other people really was.

Then, he looked at Potter again, who was staring back at him in bewilderment, the hurt still visible in his eyes that were trying to fight back tears. He suddenly seemed to realise all the people that had witnessed the scene and were now looking at him judgmentally. His cheeks turned bright red and he ran out of the Great Hall as quickly as possible, leaving curious whispering behind.

Tom only hesitated for a few seconds before he jumped into action and ran after the other boy, but he couldn't see him in the hallway anymore. Frustrated, he leaned against a wall.

So, that explains last night, he thought. Potter had slept with this awful guy and had been freshly fucked when Tom had found him. The burning fury that was building up inside him now was not something he was ever going to mention, he decided. 

But, like, what the hell? Why did Potter do that? Didn't he see what an annoying person McLaggen was?

Well, over the years, Tom had heard rumours, of course. Filthy stories about Potter's scandalous sexual activities. At least, that was what everyone called them, for Tom couldn't have cared less. He had been focused on his education and career, so there hadn't been a reason for him to ever even learn Potter's second name, let alone how he chose to spend his free time.

Why that had changed in the last couple of weeks was beyond him to be honest, and that was really infuriating him, because usually, questions that Tom Riddle didn't know the answer for just simply didn't exist.

Lost in his anger and confusion, he only realised that he was suddenly in danger when it was too late. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a stinging pain on half of his face and he groaned in pain. As he put his hand on the hurting area, he found his face to be burning hot. Cursing, he looked around in the hallway to find his attacker and saw just a glimpse of blonde hair and red and black robes.

"That bastard..." He was immediately ready to fight, pulling out his wand and pointing it towards McLaggen. A dark curse was about to leave his lips as another hand grabbed his own and stopped him.

"Hey, hey, Tom! Relax! Look at me, you have to calm down!"

"What- Theo, let go of me!" Theodore was not having any of it and took Tom's wand from him instead.

"No, Tom. You are not about to do something stupid and get yourself detention. Or something worse, if I am right to assume that the curse you were about to use wasn't exactly legal." He was looking at him sternly. "You, my dear Head Boy, wouldn't want that, would you?"

"But that fucking--" he wanted to protest, blind from fury.

"Yes, he hexed you with the burning curse, like the idiot he is, and he will get punished for it, but now, we need to get you to the Hospital Wing quickly so you don't scar, don't you think?"

"Fuck! But-" he let out a pained sound again, "God damn it, yes, you're right, ah-"

"Come on Tom, we have to hurry."

The two of them started running to the Hospital Wing and reached it quickly. They stormed inside and Theo shouted "Madame Pomfrey, we have an emergen... uhm..."

Madame Pomfrey wasn't there. Instead, sat on her chair, with tears running down his face, was no other than Harry Potter. He quickly looked up at them in shock.

"T-Tom! Uh- Riddle, what-" He stood up and walked towards him, wiping away his tears, "wh-what happened?" he asked as he saw the burned skin.

Tom's anger had still not worn off. "Your fucking asshole of a boyfriend happened, you little-" 

"My what??" 

Theo sighed in frustration. "McLaggen hexed him, Potter, but can you please just.."

"McLa- he's not my boyfriend, what the-" He seemed to realise the urgency of the situation again now, though, and continued, "Ugh, whatever, uhm... Madame Pomfrey had to leave and asked me to-... to cover her post because-... uhm, yeah- burn-healing paste! I'll get it, just-"

"Whatever you want to do, do it faster, Merlin!" Tom snapped. Harry glared at him in slight annoyance, but then he moved to Madame Pomfrey's cupboard and quickly went through the various different bottles and jars in there until he found the right one.

"Alright, you... you'll need to sit down for this and I'll just... apply it." Tom sat down on a bed with Harry next to him so close that their thighs were touching. Harry's face was already red because of his tears, and Tom and Theo didn't notice his blush because of that.

He took some of the orange paste out of the jar and started applying it on Tom's face, making him hiss because of the burn.   
"S-sorry", he whispered.

Harry was trying to avoid looking into Tom's eyes, or at his lips, or anywhere else that was not burned, but Tom was able to study Harry's face in detail now. The bruise under his eye had faded by now of course so he didn't need the concealment charm anymore, but now the bags under his eyes were clearly visible, which, combined with the puffed eyes from crying, made a rather pitiful look. That reminded Tom of the previous night and he was suddenly filled with unexplainable feelings.

Meanwhile Theo watched how his classmate was applying the paste with so much care and gentleness that he actually had to fight back his adoration for him. He clearly wasn't in a good state of mind and his body was looking frail and exhausted, yet he still managed to take care of someone else so well. Curiosity build up inside him then.

"What are you even doing here? You said Madame Pomfrey asked you to be here, why does she trust you like that?" 

"Uhm... I... well..." Potter bit his bottom lip- which was annoyingly full and pink, Tom noticed- as a nervous gesture. "I sort of, er, come here quite frequently because... I'd like to be a Healer someday" he said, and then he pulled himself together and looked at the other two with determination. He decided that was not going to let them judge him. He had worked for his dream for far too long to be ashamed of it now. There wasn't a reason for him to care about their opinions after all.

Instead of judging him though, both of them looked at him in surprise, but not in a negative way.

"Oh wow...", Theo started, but got interrupted by Tom, "So that's why you're always missing in the afternoons and at meals."

"Er... well, sort of." He wasn't going to mention that the real reason he usually didn't show up at the Great Hall was because he simply forgot to do so- thanks to his non-existent eating schedule in his childhood- but yeah, whatever.

"And why you're so good at Healing Charms and all that!" Theo gave him an adoring smile. This was brilliant, Potter was brilliant! He had never imagined that the small, timid boy could be capable of so much strength and patience to study Healing Magic. And, above all, to do so while still at school! He felt baffled by the amount of intelligence and ambition that such actions required. 

Then, last night came to Theo's mind and he felt his heart ache at the thought of this admirable boy in pain.

"Oh, ehm, thank you, Theo" Harry smiled sheepishly and Theo suddenly noticed how beautiful his green eyes and pink lips were. 

He felt incredibly attracted to him all of a sudden and couldn't take his eyes off of him.

As Tom was watching the two of them looking at each other like that, he got annoyed rather quickly.  
"Yeah, well, this is all very great. I'm sure you'll make an amazing Healer and what not, Potter. Can we go now?"

"Oh, right" he turned his curious glance away from Theo and put the paste away, quickly fixing his hair. "Of course. I'd advise you to rest for some time and come back tomorrow so I can look at it again, then you should be fine." And damn, if that wasn't hot, Theo didn't know what was.

Tom hummed, got up and started walking towards the door.

"It is truly amazing what you're doing here, Harry, really admirable. I hope you won't give up on it." After hearing these words from Theo, Tom stormed out of the room, trying to contain his anger at absolutely everyone and everything. 

How dare they?? Stupid McLaggen and fucking stupid Theo, did they seriously think they could just- just-... what? 

Honestly, what the hell? He had learned how to deal with his anger issues a long time ago, and they hadn't really been a problem for some time, but now, he couldn't stop them from getting to him.

He stopped abruptly and took a deep breath. Then, he heard the laughter of his two classmates coming out of the Hospital Wing. It took all of his willpower to not go back inside and throw a fit. 

Instead, he pulled himself together and took a walk to the Black Lake, where he sat down and spent the rest of the day contemplating the last few weeks, the changes he had noticed in himself, the current ache in his chest and, perhaps most importantly, a pair of bright green eyes. Yet again, he didn't come to any conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, what do you think about Harry as a Healer? I absolutely adore the concept (I mentioned my favourite fanfiction before, so that's were that came from).
> 
> I really enjoyed writing from Tom's perspective for once since I can relate to him in some things, so I hope you liked it as well.
> 
> Also, don't worry too much about Theo. He is important and there will be some drama, but Tomarry is my endgame, always.
> 
> By the way, I'm sorry for the irregular updates, I try to post a new chapter every few days, but I can't bring myself to follow a certain schedule. I hope you don't mind.
> 
> Anyways, thank you all so much for reading, commenting and leaving kudos. The responses so far have been really encouraging. :)


	5. Encouragement

After having regained the control over his feelings the night before, Tom decided that it wouldn't be wise of him to stay mad at Potter and Theo. If they wanted to be friends, there was no reason for him to be against that. If the way they had looked at each other the day before was any indication that this friendship could eventually become more, why would Tom even bat an eye at them? That would be ridiculous, right?

Right. So, when he entered the Hospital Wing after classes so that Potter could check on his face, he did not feel relieved at all to see him there alone, reading a book. Tom felt absolutely nothing when Potter looked up at the sound of him entering and gave him a shy smile.

"Hey, Tom" was Potter's soft greeting. Tom nodded in response and sat down in a chair next to him. The green eyes quickly looked over his face before he nodded and said "The wounds look a lot better already. I'll just apply a second layer of the paste and then you should be fine, alright?"

Tom hummed in agreement and watched as the other boy got up to get the paste from the cupboard. He couldn't help himself and let his eyes travel over tge other's small frame, memorizing his soft features and gentle movements and trying to figure out what was so special about him. A lot, he supposed.

Potter found the burn healing paste and sat down next to Tom again, but didn't open the jar yet.

"Okay, uhm, listen..." he started a little unsure. He looked into Tom's eyes for a second and seemed to pull himself together. "See, I want to apologise for what happened yesterday. A-and also the night before. You got pulled into my stupid problems and got hurt. That was my fault. I'm really sorry."

Tom just looked at him for some time. His first thought was to say that it wasn't a problem but, well, it obviously was, considering his current state.

So instead he just nodded and said "It is okay now. I helped you, you helped me. We're square, I suppose."

Potter gave him a little, thankful smile and opened the jar, starting to apply the paste on Tom's face.

And Tom tried to resist the urge, really, but he just couldn't, so he said "Just one question, okay? You decided to let McLaggen of all people... have his way with you. How did that even happen? I mean, sorry, but he's disgusting, why did you-"

Potter stopped in his tracks and interrupted him by glaring at him. 

"Are you implying that I should be ashamed of how and with whom I choose to spend my nights? Because if so, don't make the effort, people have told me that enough already." 

"What? No, that was not what I was saying! I just wanted to know why-" Tom protested, irritated by how quickly Potter got so defensive.

"Well, I guess I just couldn't help myself, huh?", the other one was quick to interrupt him, "Haven't you ever heard of Harry Potter the whore who seduces all these helpless men? Nothing new, is it?"

The hurt behind these aggressive words was hidden, but Harry's shaking hands gave him away. 

He was devastated. Terrified. 

Tom couldn't find a right answer for a long time. He just stared at the boy in front of him, at the furrowed brow, the way he was biting down on his plump bottom lip and how he was trying to hide the sorrow in those pretty- but lonely- green eyes.

His expression softened, then. "I do not think that you are a whore. I never did. Never would."

Never in a million years had Potter expected such an answer from him, especially not with such sincerity in his words- that much was obvious from the way he was looking at him now, dumbfounded. He opened his mouth to answer, but closed it again. He did that a couple of times before he seemed to decide on an answer.

"Do you really mean that-"

But he couldn't finish because at that moment, someone else entered the Hospital Wing. Potter flinched for a second, but quickly got up and put on a fake smile to greet them.

"Hello, Professor Slughorn, how nice to see you here! How can I help you?"

Tom turned around to see his head of house and politely nodded at him in greeting.

"Ah, Mr Potter, Mr Riddle, it is nice to see you two, too! However, I need to speak to Madame Pomfrey. You see, she kindly asked me to brew this potion here" he pointed at the vial in his hand. "It's for- well, you don't need to know that, do you? Anyway, where is she, my boy?"

"Oh, I'm sorry Sir, she was called to St. Mungos for a short while. I do know where the Skele-Gro is supposed to be, though. I can just take it, she knows I'm here."

Slughorn's brow furrowed. "And how would you know what this is and where it belongs so quickly? And why would Madame Pomfrey allow you in here, my boy?" It was not that Horace didn't like young Mr Potter- he supported all of his Slytherins after all- it was just that this boy was very quite, meaning he never gave him the compliments that he usually received from top students like Mr Riddle.

"Oh, the Skele-Gro potion is a quite easy to recognize, actually. I mean, I've seen it enough times."

The professor's questioning look urged Harry t ok continue with his explanation.

"I, uhm, am here quite often, Sir. Well, I've always had great interest in Healing Magic, and Madame Pomfrey was so nice to offer me to study it here a bit. That was about two years ago, and now I basically know where everything goes," Harry explained.

By that, Slughorn seemed to be thoroughly impressed. 

"My boy, I never knew that! How pleasant to hear that young people like you really do have a lot of ambition. Really admirable, Mr. Porter."

Harry just gave him an uncomfortable smile at that.

"And what were you doing here, Mr Riddle?"

Tom straightened up and joined Harry with the fake smiling. "Actually Sir, Harry was just helping me. I got burned yesterday and came to him, and he immediately knew how to treat the wounds. His knowledge is in fact quite impressive, I have to admit."

Harry blinked in confusion. Did Tom Riddle just compliment him?

Slughorn looked absolutely amazed. "Now that is quite a high compliment coming from you, Tom, isn't it?" he started laughing, rather obnoxiously, and Harry and Tom joined him despite themselves. 

"I have to say, Mr Potter, I am impressed. I believe I will have to talk to our dear Madame Pomfrey about this, but I do support you chasing your goals. I assume you know that it is students like yourself that I seek out for my little get-togethers every month?"

"No, I'm sorry, Sir?"

"Well, I'm talking about the Slug Club, of course. Young folks, just like dear Tom here," he proudly pointed at the other boy, "that I see great potential in, I like to invite them to have dinner with me every month or two, for a nice little chat." 

Tom's smile looked so forced by now that Harry quickly came to the assumption that this 'nice little chat' was actually rather obnoxious.

"I think you would be a fantastic addition to our group, Mr Potter!"

Harry flinched when the big man patted him on the shoulder and replied "O-oh.. eh, thank you, Sir, but I'm not sure if I would quite fit in-"

"Nonsense, boy! You will certainly enjoy it. Tom, you will accompany dear Mr Potter, won't you?" 

Tom nodded enthusiastically. "Of course, anything for the bright-minded, right, Sir?"   
Harry thought he looked like he regretted ever even thinking these poncy words and had to fight back a chuckle.

"Haha, yes, that is true, my boy! See, you won't even be alone, Mr Potter. You have no excuses now," he laughed again, "so that means I expect to see you then! Next Saturday at 8 pm. Doesn't that sound exciting?"

"Well, I suppose it does, Sir," Harry forced out, even though he couldn't think of a singld thing less exciting to do on a Saturday night.

"How lovely! I look forward to it." He then handed Harry the vial. "Tell her I left it here, thank you."

Harry nodded, and after saying goodbye, the Professor left and closed the door.

The boys' fake smiles fell immediately and there was a horribly tense silence filling the room now. 

Harry was the first one to move and went to put the Skele-Gro away into the cupboard where it belonged. After doing that, he turned around to find Tom sitting on the bed, looking at him with intense, deep blue eyes that Harry tried to avoid looking at at all costs. He swallowed nervously. 

"I meant it," the deep voice suddenly said.

"M-meant what?"

Before answering, Tom stood up and took a few steps towards Harry who was still not directly looking at him.

"I do not think that you are a whore, Harry." 

Said boy didn't miss that this was the first time that Tom had called him by his first name and finally looked up at him in genuine surprise. 

"I think that you are on your best way to become a great Healer, and that you should not let yourself get intimidated by what others think about you. You are above that. Do not waste your potential."

For a while, Harry thought about those words, and then all his anger from before was washed away and was replaced with gratitude. 

He allowed himself a little smile, real this time, and with a quiet voice said "Thank you Tom. Nobody has ever... thank you."

Tom only nodded. 

"A-And sorry about yelling at you before..."

"Forget about it."

Smiling up at the taller boy, Harry wanted to express his gratitude again, but Tom was quick to break off their little moment.

"Well, I should go. Thanks for", he pointed at his face, "this, and.. yeah."

Before Harry could respond, he was gone. But what he left behind was a small boy with a newfound confidence, and that alone was worth the fact that he had let some kindness and selflessness slip through his strong emotional barricade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'm sorry for not updating for, like, a month or two. School has been stressful, and then I kind of lost motivation, but... yeah, whatever. I don't think I can promise a regulated updating schedule, that would just take the fun out if this for me personally. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think about Harry going off a bit and Tom being kind of soft. I think that shows a quite different side of their characters that I have developed in this, which I like.
> 
> By the way, I drew the two of them again, check out my Instagram @pxrainey if you'd like to see that.
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


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